Late Nights

Tiny Wings, and the sound of being in fever mode. Lady Antebellum on mediocre sound system. An 8 days magazine to entertain me through the week about superficial stories of celebrities. Random chats on Facebook. Buddies surrounding me -- most of the time comforting, but on other occasions annoying.

Now: 1.49am and Lady Antebellum playing into quiet, thin air. Tiny Wings no longer entertains, but works as a perfect lullaby. Lady Antebellum sounds cheesy and unoriginal -- opposite genders singing country music to one another. I no longer have any reads. I don't speak restlessly and boldly anymore. Everyone has an iPhone (and well their own lives), so no one has to borrow mine.

I do miss rainy nights, corny music and an iPhone with random conversations I can speak foolishly.

Life Footage

So the idea is this. Take iPhone when I go for jogs and take videos and photographs of things. That's the plan.

IMPACTIST

My current favorite designers are from IMPACTIST. For one, they played Diablo I (inferred from their text, "Hey. Psst. Over here.") and their works are amazing. I mean they not just skilled, but you can tell they take great pride and put effort into their work. One thing that amazes me is the amount of random beautiful photograph they have of their everyday lives. It shows that their quality of life transcends good designs to awesome designs. I am a fanboy.

IMPACTIST is ran by two individuals and they make awesome videos and music. One day I want to meet them in Portland, Oregon and learn from them. 

Recruit till Lance Corporal

A list of things I used to be contented about:

1. Sitting in NDU's cookhouse, listening to P!nk on the radio station and categorizing that as chill music.

2. Drinking iced H20 during confinement. (We were not allowed to have cold beverages except during lunch and dinner)

3. Leaning on the side of a moving vessel and enjoy the breeze and smell of the sea.

4. Pilates.

Random Rainy Wednesday

Recently I had a conversation with my friend. My friend noticed that I am someone who needs alone time with books and coffee/tea. I realized it wasn't accurate at all. I have been unable to stop thinking of work, and I actually enjoy doing that. It has been always me-time for too long in army, I need to be on the go, be on the go. Maybe it'll fade when school starts, but right now I am enjoying how a comfortable amount of work stress is stacking. This reminds me that I am at this stage in life where I shape my future.

That's beautiful.

Supernatural Conference 2012

/

Survival was the only thought in my mind. All I wanted to do was kick off from that platform four meters deep into the water, and grab 2 precious seconds of air. I know that I was drowning by this repetitive routine. And in minutes, I will pathetically surrender at the ledge of the pool with streams of vulgarities thrown at me. But, really, I didn't cared then.

/

I was on my bed, defeated. It was probably the fifth time I've attempted that test but failed. Everyone who passed was allowed to purchase snacks and there were joyful noises passing through the corridors. I wished I could join them. 

An unusual visitor came with a Crunch in his hands and encouraged me that I will surely pass the test. It was done tactfully -- not like some who were motivated by the fear of confinement and resent. 

/

To be honest, it was a dry and lonely season. I didn't enjoyed my Saturday routines because it just felt like no one could understood. And not that no one wanted to -- but really no one could. I receive bites of sympathetic encouragement that helped for a few minutes but never through the weekends. I stopped believing in divine intervention because all I wanted was more physical rest, more physical enjoyment and vindication from this physical humdrum. I never made a bold prayer.

And then one night before my test, I made a prayer while lying on my bed and almost dozing off. I forgot what I prayed for, but I was certain it was about the test.

/

The next day after a rigorous 6km timed run test, I was asked to immediate take the test. That day I passed without even struggling and it puzzled me greatly. 

/

You were faithful, and You are faithful.

Life and Photography

Imma not a stalker

Sleep In Weekends

Awesome motion sense. 

Boy takes off spectacles, pauses for a second, camera zooms in swiftly and creates beautiful motion blur, pauses for 2 seconds.

This week has been quite a ride here at The Brand Union. Crazy deadlines to meet. Plus with my unpolished After Effects skills, this caused many early mornings (because late nights is too mainstream and honestly, not justifiable). It's almost three months into my internship now, and it has been good.

二十一

It's been a while. I have been roaming around the realms of superficiality -- posting highly edited pictures  and sugar coated stories. I wish to talk about things that matters more. 

The fact is life is pretty mediocre for now. Not bad, but not fantastic. And the term mediocre itself is such a subjective term because it is gauged by individuals. And individuals do change. So for a moment one may gauge their life as mediocre, and another moment when one's ideology of life changes, he/she may gauge life as mundane. 

So what am I trying to drive at?

I think I need to change mediocre to great. And not because of any ephemeral convictions, but because I base my life on Christ's. That will be a better wouldn't it? 

21 shouldn't be just another special year. It's time to do something about superficiality.

Labour Day 2012

Researched on coffee culture in Singapore.

 Celebrated my birthday multiple times.

 Celebrated Easter.

Ate a lot.

(and many more...)



/

It's been a while since I sat in front of the laptop with no work. And that gives me some good time to laze about and do absolutely nothing. The weather is great and I have an awesome jog ahead. 

Lazy Sunday Routine

While I have quite a number of errands to run today, I am sitting in front of the computer doing lame designs. Sundays are like Bruno Mars' 'Lazy Song' kinda days.

Change

“I always think about what it means to wear eyeglasses. When you get used to glasses you don't know how far you could really see. I think about all the people before eyeglasses were invented. It must have been weird because everyone was seeing in different ways according to how bad their eyes were. Now, eyeglasses standardize everyone's vision to 20-20. That's an example of everyone becoming more alike. Everyone could be seeing at different levels if it weren't for glasses.” ― Andy Warhol

It's one of those nights you can't fall asleep. You turn on Youtube playlists, turn off the lights, and it seem like 6 years back. Only you've changed. Good, bad? 

Inevitable.

Good Friday 2012

The day started with an awesome run from my house to MacRitchie. It's a great way to start the day like that. I really miss the little hustle and bustle there where people of different ages gather to canoe. I should do this more often. 

What Did We Use to Talk About?

a. Nowadays, all that is in my mind is design. I wake up, I think about design. When I knock off and go for a jog, an idea for a side project pops up. I can't stop thinking about design. / When you meet someone, you ask about how their job is and linger within the realms of career and education. When you share about your week to your friends, all you talk about are you plans for the future and and your current #firstworldwoes like how you try to get to work during peak hours. / I don't exactly hate my life of design now but change makes me think. I wonder if my identity is set by my career. When I was in the army, I felt a sense of identity through mundane living. And that identity was acceptable to me -- in fact I was proud about it. I was proud to be part of a the identity of 33rd batch. Yet even when we meet up, we can never fall back completely to that identity that was forged. We're trapped in between two worlds we've crafted with our ambitious and inexperienced hands. / Why don't people travel home together anymore? Why are adults so independent they do not travel together? The atmosphere at Tanjung Pagar everyday at 6pm is so chaotic and tense, I believe if I intentionally knock someone with my shoulders, I will at least get a viscous stare. But seriously, why don't people travel home together anymore? / Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, dramas --- people are so indulged in their own world for a quick fix. And I am annoyed I am one of them. 

b. What did we use to talk about?

Flesh & Bones

Collie Caillat on a lazy Sunday reminds me of the dreadful BMT booking-ins into camp. There's just this air of frustration for the unfruitfulness of the weekend, and how I should have done something more epic -- like skydiving or something?

But feeling frustrated, yet being calmed by the acoustic strings of Colbie's makes me forget what is to come and remain static in 'enjoying the moment' -- and that is an awesome feeling. It's not exactly an in your face kinda peace, but it's realistic. It makes me feel like I am made of flesh and bones, and that it was okay to feel alone and insufficient.

Sometimes feeling insufficient is sufficient to get by.

Hard Questions

Dinner conversations over comfort food and familiar stories. When one door opens, we yearn for another to open -- and that is the life we will be living in future. A life full of opportunities, or is it a life of endless chase?

For Future Reference

It takes a while for me to realize that the idealist in me is still more prevalent than the realist. Branding is a little too safe, and you don't really get to live on the edge as much as... I don't know... an illustrator or something? But I think I have to realize that money in future will be a huge issue. But the issue with money will also help bring about the idea of 'living on the edge'? Hahahaha, it's such a difficult compromise sometimes because money could possibly bring more comfort than your aspirations. And what exactly is comfort? It's such a subjective term, only an individual can define that for himself.

So for now, this remains quite in a loop. I think I really wouldn't know. But the idealist in me screams a little louder. And in the future I hope I work in somewhere (whether corporate or indie) that requires me to, you know, feel a little uncomfortable in terms of experimentation, but also excited at the same time? I think that is a good balance in anything that we do.

Monday Blues, Friday Booze

I went to Clarke Quay today primarily because I wanted to be served by my friends in a fancy restaurant. So the plan was to go there for dinner, and then chill at somewhere nice. It was slightly draining economically but we had complimentary pudding and cake so it made us feel a little better lol. Drinks was at Shuffle Bistro, which surprising brought back little reminiscence except my love for honeydew beer. Boss there still recognizes me, oh god why.

/

Internship has been quite fun thus far. I am currently working on some animation for a cafe in Singapore. The interesting thing about this project is that I can experiment on anything I want to. The deadline is relatively far away, and the creative direction is quite flexible. So I can have quite a bit of fun.

A few days back, I followed my Creative Director to CRITCA, an animation studio in Singapore. Initially, I judged the studio by their lack of Mac products. In fact, the studio was filled with black, engineered desktop and a lack of space. The Creative Director's office gave me an impression that he did try to furnish and artsify the place, but I'll give him E for effort (pun intended). Yet as I went to research about their work, I am quite shocked -- and a little ashamed -- that such a small studio can produce amazing work. 

/

Colorful windows might add colors to college life.

I went to Design Singapore's head office to hand in my application for scholarship. I am not pinning high hopes, but wish to at least get through the preliminary rounds of interview. 

I like the idea of a fine balance between an idealist and a realist. That will be the best combination. But looking at the prospect of Singapore's design scene, it has been my personal conviction to get out of this little dot to do something. But I still can't figure out the fine line between a realist and idealist. So maybe this scholarship can be a good bridge for me hahahaha.

/

What did I use write about?

Advertising

I like how he remains so honest about his work. It is so ironic that he enjoys his work yet finds it ridiculous and mundane at the same time. 


"A lot of people in advertising are frustrated artists. We find ourselves expressing in a field that is very lucrative. You get to be creative but you do it for, you know, Macdonald's?" 

"When we travel we want to experience something different. But it just feels the same. It's my job to sell that sameness."

"We go from job to job to job. But you know years pass and for my case, decades. I've been freelancing for 22 years. We're all just chasing our security, but then decades go by and we kept out security." 

Time

The familiar scent of baking bread, but with a tinge of industrial waste -- that was the air I furiously breathe in during time run when my army term was still on. Yet, as I walk through roads of familiarity, there is a sense of alienation. I realized I don't really belong here anymore. The usual faces I see, the same rants I hear from Captain Jason and the same food I smell from the cookhouse, these are no longer my business anymore.

My purpose in this unit is diminished -- no more sai kang, no more RIBs lol. I cannot exist here anymore. Isn't it a little awkward that our core purpose in the national service is based on the banes of the service (waiting to ORD, waiting for weekends to come, waiting for meal time to come)? But our connection to the unit is also based on these banes?

Two weeks back, I was sitting in Cohesion Cove guessing drawings from Draw Something. And just two weeks later, this is an alien land. Time passes a little too quickly.

(那些年, 我們一起住的) Bunk Homage

Warning: Full Frontal Nudity

Currently paying homage to these epic videos. 
Right now, I am struggling with what I am doing in internship, and complaining about tiredness (always) around mid day. But it's weird, because every time at the end of the day, I feel a sense of accomplishment -- like I wouldn't mind going through all the staring in front of the computer for inspiration. Sure, it's not exactly the funnest design job in a branding company. But I do get all excited when I hear about brand identities that are interesting (unlike corporate local firms with their 7 core values etc). 
Tomorrow, I will be drawing on coffee bags for a local cafe. 

Moving On

Branding in Singapore is not an easy art. First of all, clients are not exactly the most artsy people, so you don't usually get to design something that is designer-ish. Often or not, the design process requires you to sit down for hours to integrate certain characteristics of the company into visual elements. Living in an asian society, it is obvious that these characteristics are not very exciting lol. Oh well, these are just some thoughts to my 2nd day in Brand Union.

I really look up to the other designers in the team. They have so many things on their hand, and they don't seem to be drowning under their work -- while on the other hand, I am struggling with using Adobe Illustrator, and coming up with conceptual ideas for branding.

I learnt quite a bit too. I learnt to brain storm and to only start executing when you have a good concept. I've never been the kind of designer that has a strong concept, so this will surely help me.

Still surviving...


*

It's quite awkward though. Life moves on too fast. Just a moment ago, I was hanging out with my army friends over Act of Valour and dinner. It made me realize this social group is no longer my primary life. Brand Union is primarily where I will spend my days and dreams in for the next few months. 

It's surreal, but it's life.
(I wish my  biggest problem now is whether I should go to cookhouse for lunch or not)

Good Closure

Darn cliché, but man these were the best days yet.

It's a Friday, and typically for the last two months, the thought of ORD video will constantly remind to get my ass back to work. But it is all over, and it was good. 

Today I sit in front of the computer with nothing much to accomplish. By far I have watched the latest episode of Rescue 995 (don't judge me), did some designs for church, played Draw Something and attempted to apply for Design Singapore scholarship only to realize I have so many sections I cannot fill as of yet. 

Internship starts on Monday and I feel a little too indifferent. Hahahahaha, I think right now all I want to do is laze around and do absolutely nothing. So there, accomplished!

ORD LO!

It is One Thing to Move Out.
It is Another to Move On.

It's been a while, but it has been good, it has been good. I have been busy for ORD video which has been quite an experience. It is by far the biggest project I have picked up. And not just that, it is also the funnest. People are just so spontaneous and there is so much fun in piecing these little snippets of humor together.

I tried my best to make the videos a good representation of 33. Because we do deserve that. We deserve a documentation of that. 

Reprise

I need You more, more than yesterday
I need You Lord, more than words can say
I need You more, than ever before
I need You Lord
I need You Lord
More than the air I breathe
More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord, as time goes by, I will be by your side
Cause I never want to go back to my old life.

Chill Pill, Pete

This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform. This is a quick fix society but I should not conform.

Le Fine

The Sims Analogy

What if the world that I live in is The Sims 3? If someone picks me up with the hand-tool, and place me to somewhere unfamiliar, will I be able to adapt? Honestly, I think I will not be able to do it so fast. It will take me a while to begin to be used to independence, and then to deal with relationships and other miscellaneous matters. 

The thing is no one will truly understand. To them, I am merely The Unconventional -- and that there is something inherently wrong in that. To me, I sometimes wish I was The Conventional, but the banes to that is a little too much to handle. I don't know if that is wrong, but I know leaving now isn't exactly right too? 

So here's a little peep to me when I am running on empty thoughts. These uncomfortable questions pop up, and most of time, I will just ignore them in an instance. Today however, I came up with a lame analogy to tell myself that it is alright to linger within your comfort zone. It is alright...

Music

Not the only one playing Whitney Houston's music just because she died today. Momentary fame?

The music goes into a crescendo, and you can clearly hear the clashing of notes. And then suddenly, it goes into a complete silence. 

I want to listen to music that makes me hold my breath. It's like how one would drink wine. You take a sip, allow the wine to linger within your taste buds for a while, and slowly swallow in such a fashion that you can feel alcohol going down your throat, and a subtle amount of 'alcohol fumes' out of your nostrils. 

那些年，我们一起追的女孩

Today, we sat in The Wine Company and spoke about the historic epicness of Anderson. Honestly, the school itself did not seem to have a legitimate teachers that wasn't at least normal. But that was what made it so comical.

I realized we embrace the present so tightly, when we speak about the past, it's usually only the memorable moments we share about. Our memories fades like negatives exposed in humid weather, and we all do need some reminders to bring us back to those silly days we once lived invincibly.

I wished I treasured those days more. But I always had a deep-rooted hatred for mundanity -- which really is childish escapism when I think about it 8 years later. It hindered me from enjoying school holistically.

Right now, I would like to listen to Busted's Crash the Wedding, Blink 182's All the Small Things, Graham Colton's Let It Go. Those were the days.

Sudden Epiphany

In my mind, there is a protagonist. He takes an escalator down through a mall. The camera captures only the protagonist's face - and every detail on his face (to every pore) is captured.

The world around moves in blurness and fast motion.

The video is desaturated, and its brightness and contrast tweaked skillfully. The post-production personnel deliberately decreases the frames per second and creates an illusion of stop-motion or time lapse. Sigur Ross's Intro track to the album 'Ágætis Byrjun' plays in the background, and the original video audio is muted.

Diver Pride

Today, I met up 2 NDU pre-enlistees and shared to them about my experience in camp, and hopefully give them some advise to get through the storms to come.

I think my words failed a whole lot. I realized today (and actually through many other instances) that my experience in NDU cannot be merely conversed through words. The toughness and epicness of NDU can only be conversed to fellow NDU mates who had actually gone through all these shit. Sit-test hammering will never be so epic if we hadn't sat in the tonner looking at all the mud stained No. 4s and mud-masked faces. Sea Circuit will look like a playground if you have never climbed those ropes thinking if you will tea-bag up to the platform and fail. Hellweek will not be that epic if we hadn't gone through submerging ourselves in (supposedly) 7 degree celsius water, and screaming like a girl at the top of our voices. No one will understand these epicness until they experienced it.

Yeah, I know. Sometimes we blow these heroic moments a little out of proportions. But spare us some slack man! We are a little too proud of our little achievement of passing out. Hahahahaha.

Need More Exercise

It's been too long I think I have forgotten the liberation of running/walking in solitude. Jay Chou was the playlist, as usual.

I shall make my way to MacRitche in the morning this week. I will watch canoe practice happening and reminisce the days 33 Batch actually had crazy and lame sessions of slope trainings.

Scents

It's like closure when I am constructing the ORD video for 33 Batch. Looking through epic shit bunk videos, and hellweek videos (which I seriously don't know how I got through 4 days of that), it made me realize how long my term in army was.

It's not all chirpy and positive though. This is the kind of closure that puts you in a position of confusion.

You were once placed in an environment you have never volunteered to be in. You continue to embrace your civilian-ship, and call it your initial identity. Yet as time passes, this initial identity blends completely into your soldier life -- subconciously, the detested term 'army' is your life. Your social circle and life revolves around your army friends. The language you speak reeks of NDU 33 Batch. You are the product of National Service.

In about a month, I will be receiving civilian-ship. And this preempted confusion is as real as it seems. I will move on with life, make completely new friends, and my life will reek of a different scent.

Maybe moving on is hard only because you wished that everything will stay the same -- the same jokes, the same people, and the same comfort zone.

Welcome to life.

That Awkward Moment...

when you meet your primary school 'girlfriend' with her current boyfriend. You are sitting in front on the bus and have to turn your head to talk -- but you can't really be bothered because you are unsure if the conversation ends after typical 'what are you doing now in your life'.

You used to create adventures in the jungle with her like Tarzan and Jane. But now, there is nothing in common except expired, grainy memories and strips of over-priced stickers with our childlike faces, and untidy handwritings all over.

Hahahahaha, joke.

Craving

1. Awesome Cinematics

2. Scent of Burnt Caramel Popcorns

This will surely put me to great ease. I need a short break from filming and video editing -- despite how much I enjoy doing these and feel accomplished when I render them successfully. 

Internship at Brand Union is in about one month. I recalled I was so excited when I first received the email from the Creative Director. And I remembered how everything feels all fluffy and wonderful like how Cranberries' 'Dreams' will be playing at the start of a chick flick film. Yet, now when everything has simmered from idealism to realism, I am starting to feel nervousness and fear that everything will turn mundane once again. 

Sigh, humans. 

Le Smitten Me

Lisa Mitchell - Romeo and Juliet

Producer VS Director

I've learnt a few things creating our amazingly thrashy, but incredibly hilarious ORD video. 

1. It's harder being a director than producer. Of course there isn't any hard or fuss rules about the job-scope of a director or producer, but conventionally, doing this budget video, it made me realize it is harder to be on the set inspiring people with your artistic vision of the film than doing the administrative matters. 

2. You need to be convicted about your filming before any execution. There is no point filming if everyone is not convinced that the film is going to work out perfectly. In fact for this film, we had a few people brainstorming for scenes to film. We had our little disputes about which scene might be a little try-too-hard-wannabe, or easy-to-say-but-hard-to-film, but I am really glad we came up with a common consensus of the scenes and did whatever we plan (or at least we are half-way there). 

It was useful that we had charismatic members in our team who could convince others about the hilarity and epic-ness of our scenes. People who could make mountains out of molehills, and lead people to the promise land of '33 is a hilarious bunch of sluts'.

3. You should never have a mentality of 'aiyah never mind lah, later you can always edit the video'. Such mentality always leads to lousy filming.

4. I actually enjoy doing motion graphics. I mean I have never realized that. I have always thought motion graphics is an art that is too difficult to master. And me being me, I am too lazy to learn that. 

Not like I am any better now, but watching myself creating amateur motion graphics (and some borrowed presets from video copilot lol) gives me a sense of achievement. I am not trying to be humble here (hahahahaha), but I really enjoy learning this. And on my free time nowadays, I usually open After Effects on my computer to work on the ORD videos like how anyone will log into Garena for a game of DOTA. Geek I know.

5. People who can act, and direct and freaking awesome. My little experience being in one of the scenes just made me realize how I hate knowing that someone is filming my every action. I can't really be myself, but yet I have to act natural? How is that even possible?

And so I respect people like Tom Hanks who are directing, and acting awesomely. I would have include Jack Neo, but let's just say his already forgotten scandal is the cause of his lack of talent hahaha.

6. I know our video might turn out a little amateurish, but I am actually assured it will work out fine on 29 February 2012. People will still laugh and comment that it is epic because this is 33rd Batch. We dig the thrashy stuff. All we have to do is to jeep (aka humiliate by insulting) and everyone will burst into fits of laughter.

I know we will try our best -- to not be overly thrashy, but yet not boring and long winded.

CNY 2012

Cafe Iguana @ Clarke Quay

So because my new resolution for 2012 is to never go to Chinatown/River Ang Bao during the whole Chinese New Year, our yearly affair on the eve was shifted to a very humble Mexican Bar called Cafe Iguana at Clarke Quay. We were there at happy hour (after 11pm) and order a-lot-cheaper Strawberry Margarita - which interestingly was blended with ice, and tacos that was able to fill sufficiently for 6. We talked about our recent ambitions, and drinking boo-boos stories (hahahahaha). 

I'll definitely be back there after 11pm!